You tell me you want to love a woman, but do you even understand us?
Do you understand that when we take our clothes off in front of a man our voice cracks and our hands shake…
Judging every stretch mark, misplaced freckle, and the way our bodies tell the stories of our past.
Remembering every time we searched for peace at the back of the pantry or licked the shame off our chocolatey fingertips.
I don’t know what we are more ashamed of…
Eating our feelings or admitting that we have them in the first place.
Do you understand that when we walk past a man on the street alone we speed up and avoid eye contact.
Rehearsing the worst case scenario and wondering if anyone would hear us if we screamed loud enough.
I don’t know what we are more afraid of…
Inviting conflict from a stranger or prolonged eye contact where for a split second in time, we feel seen.
Do you understand the patience required when we trip, stumble, and fight to get the words out when you ask us “what’s wrong?”
Instead of saying “spit it out” can you appreciate that much like you… our shame feels like a baseball bat to the windpipe.
Give us a second to catch our breath and fill our lungs again.
Do you understand it’s not that we scared to love, we are scared to love and be loved in return?
Love is our nature, nurturing energy seeps out of our pores, growing a garden so lush you’ll get lost in the trees.
We do not fear loving you.
We fear the restless warrior in you burning down the forest.
We understand compassion as we too have fought many battles.
We are warriors in a garden and we can see when a man hasn’t left the war.