Your face is bloody and marred from fighting battles you never give yourself permission to let go of…
I see you’re tired.
It’s a different kind of tired though.
It’s the kind of tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix and leaves this restless feeling that houses itself right behind your sternum.
It’s the kind of tired that inhibits you from ever feeling safe long enough to let your walls down and rest.
The kind of tired that perpetuates the need to be in constant motion to maintain the false illusion of feeling at “ease.”
You’ve learned to dance to this tune well, as you’ve been dancing to it your whole life.
You dance because the motionlessness of your still mind makes you sick.
And when you allow yourself to sink into the awareness of how heavy this exhaustion is…
… your voice trembles and your ribs crack from the weight of your shame.
You’re not alone, you never have been.
God gave me three eyes; two to look and one to see.
You don’t need to do “more”
You need to learn to rest in the moments you do nothing.
Your value isn’t dependent on milestones hit, outcomes achieved, and optimal performance.
You were always valuable, you have been since the moment you opened your eyes when you entered this world.
I know that doesn’t land…
The walls are too tall and the brick is too thick.
That’s okay.
I’ll sit here picking petals off the flowers and patiently waiting for you to peek over.
Back leaned up against the wall and enjoying the sunshine on my face until you are ready.
Even if you never are.
But just for a moment - breathe.
You can get back to “rushing” your way through life again tomorrow.
Love you always.
